10 November 2008

Goodbye Party

Nov. 8, 2006 – The little boys surrounded Amy as she mixed oil, water, eggs and cake mix into a larger silver bowl. She didn't have a cup measurer, so she did her best to estimate the ingredients. I have never seen little boys more intrigued with chocolate cake mix in my life! I'm guessing they have never stood in the kitchen with anyone before, baking a cake or making rice krispie treats. They have never cooked with their mom or watched their grandmother makes them cookies. That's why Amy wanted to bake cupcakes with the children for Yanet's going-away party, instead of purchasing a store-bought cake. She wanted to give them some memories.

As the kids helped Amy in the kitchen – eating pizza and drinking Merinda – David and Yanet stayed together in the living room at the Baby Home. Tegist, one of the caregivers (who I think is especially close with Yanet), prepared a traditional Ethiopian coffee ceremony for the adults. The entire day was a celebration for the newly-joined McDurham family, and a celebration of the home where Yanet spent the first year of her life. It is more than evident that Yanet has been loved at this home. Extremely loved. Each of the caregivers had their own special relationship with this beautiful little girl.

After everyone ate cupcakes and drank coffee, David and Amy asked all the caregivers to come downstairs so they could tell them how much they meant to them. David could barely get a single sentence out before the entire room was in tears. He told them, "I am so thankful for you for loving Yanet so much." It was bitter sweet. The caregivers are so happy to see Yanet go with an American family – for her to have hope for a better future in the United States than she would ever have in Ethiopia. And yet, they are so sad to say goodbye.

I understand how they feel. I had to say goodbye to some special kids tonight. I have grown so attached to each and every child in this home, and I've only known them a week! I do not know when I will see them again, but God does. Whether it's on earth or in heaven, I know we will meet again. I pray that each child will find a family and experience the love that only a mother and father can provide. I pray that Yanet will always know how much she was loved in Ethiopia by her first family. And I pray that you, too, might experience the joy that I have experienced this week as I have watched God's perfect plan in action.

07 November 2008

A Day of Firsts

Nov. 6, 2008 – Today was a day of momentous firsts for little Eleanor Yanet. It was the first time she smiled at her mom. It was the first time she fed herself cheerios and bread. And it was the first time she slept in the same room with her parents.

It's been a long transition period for this little girl. Unlike most of the children at the Baby Home, Yanet does not like new people – and she's very stubborn. It's pretty hard to get this little girl to do much of anything she doesn't want to do! If David tries to lay her down in his arms, she will reach up and grab the neck of his t-shirt to pull herself back up. If Amy tries to change her diapers, she rolls around screaming her head off.

But last night, David and Amy were able to bathe her for the first time at the Guest Home where we're staying… and she loved it. She sat in the little pink bathtub, splashing around as her mom rinsed her off. It was so precious.

It's been a really good thing that they were able to transition her slowly. Most often, when families adopt internationally, the children re thrust into their parents' arms immediately, taken away from familiar surroundings without any adjustment period. That can make it really hard for a child to adjust. Since Buckner owns and operates the Baby Home here in Addis, they were able to get to know Yanet over several days until she felt comfortable with them. It may have been harder on David and Amy, but it definitely made it easier for Yanet. And I think that's what everyone wants.

On Tuesday we went to the U.S. Embassy to get Yanet's American visa. You will be glad to know it is a very secure building. There are huge red "No Photography" signs covering the outside walls and we had to go through two security checks, where we emptied all our bags and were frisked for weapons or electronics. Apparently, if they see you taking a picture inside or outside the building, then they will take your camera away from you. I definitely didn't want to risk it… so we took their first official family photo with the Embassy at my back, pointing away down the street. Yanet was asleep almost the whole time.

Tomorrow, we'll go to the German Embassy to get Yanet's temporary Visa for admission into Germany (where they will have a layover on their flight). Then we will go to the market for some Ethiopian goods. David and Amy plan to buy a special Ethiopian gift for every birthday Yanet has until she turns 18. Amazing.

On Saturday, David and Amy will host a party at the Baby Home to celebrate Yanet's new life in America and to have one last day of fun with the older children. We're going to bake cupcakes and decorate them with the kids -- something they've probably never done before. We're also going to eat pizza, drink sodas and play some games! This will also be the time for David and Amy to express their appreciation for Yanet's caregivers, who have all loved her and cared for her since she first came to the orphanage. I'm sure it will be another emotional day. Yanet will probably not go back to the orphanage again...

06 November 2008

Better Citizens

Nov. 5, 2008 – Today I drove from Addis Ababa to Bantu where Buckner/Bright Hope recently opened a school for the children ages 4-7 living in this rural farming community. David stayed at the Baby Home with Yanet and Amy was home sick.

As we drove out of the smog-filled streets of Addis and into the open roads of the Ethiopian countryside, it was like the heavens opened up on us. The sky was bright blue with giant cotton ball clouds. The land was shades of green and brown, crops harvesting in open fields. The houses transformed from corrugated-tin shanties to grass and mud huts. It was beautiful and unlike anything I've ever seen before.

As we turned onto the road to Bantu (26 kilometers of bumpy dirt roads), we started seeing more and more people walking barefoot on the roads. Some were riding in horse-drawn carriages and others carrying large bales of crops on their backs. The Bantu community would be considered one of Ethiopia's poorest. Nebiyou Tesfaye, the project coordinator for the Bantu school, said the people earn about $11 a month. Most of the children who attend the school are orphans living with grandparents or relatives.

"We are the ones who provide them with food, showers, soap, drinking water, clothes, shoes, everything," he said. There are 200 children at the school, learning everything from math to English. And all the teachers have their bachelor's degree and will remain with the students up until the eighth grade.

When I walked into the first classroom, all the children immediately stood up behind their desks and smiled at me, all neatly dressed in their green and blue uniforms. I said, "Hello, are you doing today?" And they all responded in unison. "Fine, thank you. How are you?" I was so shocked at how well they knew English! It had only been three weeks since they started class. Their teachers are obviously doing a wonderful job. Some students were receiving polio vaccinations and vitamins from the nurses on staff at the school.

After their morning classes were over, all of the children lined up single file with their hands on each other's shoulders. They would walk like this through the mud to the dining hall where they would each receive their largest meal of the day – a bowl of rice.

Marta Admasu, the principal of the school, explained, "We are experiencing great happiness at this time. The children have food, soap, shoes, toothbrushes, clothing. Because of this, they feel very happy."

After lunch, the students were released to go home. They hung around the gates waiting for me and Nebiyou to leave. As I stepped outside the school's gates and began the quarter mile hike in the mud back to the truck, the children swarmed me. They were probably 50 children fighting to hold my hand, following me down the road and pointing me in the direction of least muddy resistance. I thought, "This must be what it's like to be a celebrity." They were fascinated with me. It made me wonder how many "ferengs" they've met before. (Fereng in Ethiopia means white person.)

Today, Tegist Tesema told me that their plan is to enlarge the school with more classrooms and more teachers. They also hope to build a guest home nearby so American mission teams can stay near the school for ministry. "It's a peaceful place," she said. "Good for meditation." And she's right. Bantu is beautiful. The people are beautiful. And now they have opportunities unlike ever before. It is the school's ultimate goal for every child to go to college.

"These students, we give them hope," Nebiyou said. "When we provide them with a good education, I know they will be better citizens. They will be self sufficient."

- Jenny Pope

04 November 2008

Living by Hope

Nov. 4, 2008 -- I've spent the last four days at the Buckner Baby Home in Addis Ababa. One of the most important things for new adoptive parents to do with their child is bond. And that's why David and Amy have been doing. We've seen Yanet's reserved exterior begin melting away as she learns to be comforted by her Mom and Dad. Yesterday sweet Yanet was sick. We drove straight to the children's hospital in the city to meet her. David and Amy had the unique privilege of holding her as she vomited all over them. I told Amy, "Congratulations!" It's a milestone of motherhood.

The children living at the Buckner Baby Home are adorable. There are currently five older children and seven babies. Every child living in this home is available for international adoption. After spending time with these children, I see it as my personal responsibility to find them homes. They are so special.

The first day we were here, one of the older boys – 5-year-old J – asked David in his broken English, "You. Yanet. Plane?" David responded, "Yes, I'm going to take Yanet home on a plane." He looked up at David with his big brown eyes, clasped his hands to his chest and let out the happiest, "Oh!" as he flashed the biggest smile you've ever seen. He was so happy to know that Yanet will have a family. That she will living in America. That her life will change.

You see, the thing these children want more than anything in the world is a family of their own. They have now seen three American families come into their home and leave with one of their friends. They have received pictures of their friends in America with their new families, and I know they are happy for their friends. But they also long for the day when they will be showered with new clothes and toys. Brothers and sisters. A family to call their own.

Ellenie, the nurse at the Baby Home, said, "The children live by the hope that one day they will have a family." She said they teach all the children to be happy for their friends when they get good gifts, because the gifts are from God. But I can see the longing all over their faces – the eagerness – when they spend time with me. Or David. Or Amy. They want a family more than anything in the world. They want their own dream to come true.

Due to international adoption regulations, I cannot use the children's real names or photos in this blog. I wish I could, because your heart would melt if you could see their sweet smiles. Instead, let me tell you a little about their personalities. (There are two AMAZING older children currently living here, but they already have a family! So I'm going to focus on the other four children instead.)

John – John is 5-years-old and loves to play! He is very affectionate. He is the first one to greet us as we walk in the door. He loves to take my hand and lead me into a room to play with toys. He also loves to sing. His favorite song is "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" which he likes to sing (in English) as he flashes his hands like little stars.

Adam – Adam is 7-years-old and longs for our attention. He loves to get his picture taken. He also loves to be hugged. Wherever the action is, Adam finds a way to get in the middle of it! He is very active, but also very smart. After reading through the book, "Brown Bear" only a couple of times, he could read the whole thing aloud in English without any problems. Amazing.

Chris – Little Chris is 5-years-old and very artistic! I looked over one afternoon and he was using an etch-a-sketch to draw a car. And it was really good! He also likes to sing. Sometimes I catch him sitting alone singing with the most precious little voice. Sometimes Chris gets shy when given too much attention, but he is absolutely adorable and has the most amazing smile.

Job – Job is about a 1 and a half years old and LOVES attention! It took me a couple of days to get him to play with me (he's afraid of white women for some reason) but once he warmed up, he will come up to me and give me little gifts (like a CD case or toy) and will always come and hit my hand when I offer him a "high five." He talks all the time and runs around the room. He's very expressive and playful.

Though it's a little harder to distinguish the personalities of the little babies, I know they are all well cared for and loved. Their eyes are bright. They giggle when you give them attention. They are rolling over and making "cooing" noises. They are beautiful boys and girls

Whether you have ever considered adoption or just considered having a family, please consider these children. They will bless your life and the lives of so many others. I know God has a special home picked out for each one of them. If you think it might be yours, go to beafamily.org to learn more about international adoption with Buckner.

03 November 2008

Hope and a Future

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you a hope and a future. – Jeremiah 29:11

Nov. 2, 2008 -- Today we visited Praise Evangelical, a charismatic Protestant church in Addis Ababa. Getahun Tesema, the director of Buckner/Bright Hope here in Ethiopia, is the pastor of the church. We arrived a little late for the service, so when Getahun led us through a small side entrance and took us up a set of stairs I wasn't quite sure where we were headed. It turned out to be the stage.

They had set up three chairs for David, Amy and me to sit on stage during the service. Shortly after we finished singing some Amharic worship music (a cross between a rock concert and steel drum band ) Getahun asked the three of us to join him at the podium. Since David is a minister in Texas, he wanted him to speak. Talk about being put on the spot! But David opened his heart and shared it with the people at Praise Evangelical. He talked about their journey – the struggles they went through as they waited on God's timing in their lives to deliver them an Ethiopian daughter. He told them how humbled he was by their worship, and how honored he was to be adopting a child of their country. I looked out into the crowd and saw tears streaming from people's eyes. A man on the third row was wiping a tear from his cheek. David and Amy's story is not only touching the lives of hundreds of Americans, it is also touching lives of hundreds of Ethiopians. Praise God!

Then Getahun did something even more amazing. He asked the entire congregation to lay hands on David and Amy and to pray for them. Hands shot up from around the sanctuary as I stood on David's left and Getahun on Amy's right. He prayed in English and the whole congregation affirmed his words. He prayed for David and Amy to be able to care for Yanet. And he prayed that one day Yanet will be able to be a minister – to help other people the way her parents helped her. The way God has helped all of us. I couldn't stop the tears from flowing. One day, Eleanor Yanet McDurham is going to do some amazing things for God's kingdom. I just know it.

In another one of God's divine appointments, the guest pastor was preaching on the passage Jeremiah 29:11. He turned to David and Amy and used their story as his example. It makes perfect sense. Ethiopia was not in their plans. But God brought them here in anyway. God really does have plans to give us all a hope and a future. All we have to do is trust.

A Beautiful Day

None of us really knew what to expect. Although I’m sure we all really had something in mind. David and Amy had been told of Yanet’s reserved personality. So when we walked into the Buckner Baby Home in Addis Ababa, we were all anxious to see her reaction.

Tegist, the director of the Baby Home, picked us up early this morning and drove us to the home. We walked inside and were greeted by the older children – all adorable and most all available for adoption. Then Tegist then told us to follow her upstairs. Amy and David headed up while I stood back and watched through the video lens. The first thing I heard Amy say as she rounded the corner was, “Oh my goodness, she’s even more beautiful in person!” It was true.

Sitting in the middle of the room amidst rows of cribs and bright colorful pink walls was the little girl David and Amy had prayed about for years. Her hair was braided and she was wearing her purple birthday dress. Amy went to lay on the floor next to her and try to warm her up, but it was too much for little Yanet. So Amy swept her into her arms instead.

The next eight hours were spent getting to know each other as mom, dad and daughter. And by the end of the day, Yanet fell asleep in Amy’s arms. It was a beautiful picture of God’s grace in so many ways.

Here’s a glimpse of our day.

31 October 2008

Thirteen years.

Where were you 13 years ago? I can barely remember where I was – although I know it somehow involved me wearing tube socks, basketball shoes and Umbro shorts (middle school… I won’t go there).

For my friends David and Amy McDurham, 13 years ago marks the beginning of their journey to start a family.

Now, it typically doesn’t take 13 years to start a family – unless that is, God’s plan is for it to take 13 years. You see, when they began their journey so long ago, God already knew who their little girl would be. She would be born in Ethiopia in 2007 and her name would be Eleanor Yanet. Ella. And she would be beautiful. She would be a McDurham.

God’s timing isn’t always our own. His will doesn’t always make sense to us. But his will and timing are always perfect. The McDurham’s story is proof of that.

Today I am leaving with David and Amy on a two-week trek to Addis Ababa, Ethiopia for what I already see as an epic love story – one that will surely be filled with emotions across the board. I will chronicle our trip as best I can for you, hoping to do justice to the experience which I am certain will change many lives – including my own.

Please be in prayer for David, Amy and Ella! And check back soon for photos and updates. Only 30 more hours to go…

- Jenny Pope

17 October 2008

Russia Blog Diary, Entry Six

Scott Collins is blogging about his experiences in Russia as part of the 2008 ‘Shoes for Orphan Souls’ mission trip. This is Scott’s first trip to Russia with Buckner since 1999. He is vice president of External Affairs.

She Stole My Heart
ST. PETERSBURG, RUSSIA – I never knew until today that the way to my heart is through my hands.

Baby Home No. 16 here is a testament to commitment and perseverance. I remember it as one of those places I was unable to fully photograph or explain because I couldn’t capture the smell.

Today it is as fine as any facility you’ll find in the United States, thanks to the work of Buckner and our donors. It really is a marvel.

The last time I was here, children were kept in ground-level cribs that looked more like stock pens for cattle. Today, the home has tremendous rehabilitation rooms, bright, open play areas, and row after row of neatly spaced baby cribs.

Back then, there was maybe one caregiver for every 10 children. Unattended children would stand up with one leg tied to the crib bars and rock themselves for stimulation. Now, there are ample numbers of loving women engaging with the babies at every turn.

The place even has an small indoor swimming pool used for therapy that was donated by Buckner.

I was enjoying the renovated facilities and even more, I was enjoying taking dozens of photos as the team I’m with put new shoes on the feet of the children. Talk about Kodak moments.

And then Natasha Voytakova told me about Masha, a little girl in the next room.

She is two years and eight months old. Masha had been adopted by a Russian family and taken into their home. No one knows when.

But yesterday, the family changed its mind and brought Masha to Baby Home No.16. Just like that. With no explanation. Traumatized doesn’t even begin to explain the look on her face when I walked into the room and saw her sitting alone on a tiny sofa.

Suddenly, I was no longer a photographer. I put the camera down, held out my hands and Masha entered my heart.

We sat down on the sofa and I cradled her in my arms and immediately she knew what to do. She rested her head on chest. I could feel her breathing as she nestled into my embrace. And with every heartbeat of hers, I could feel my heart being torn apart.

People on these trips often comment, “I could just take them all home.” To be honest, I don’t often feel that way. But I did today.

I didn’t know it, but the rest of the group had left. Natasha came back looking for me and it was all I could do to hand Masha over to her caregiver.

As hard as it was for me to be pulled away from this precious little girl, I can’t imagine what it must have been like for her to have been pulled away from her “family.”

But here’s the thing. I know that in Baby Home No. 16, Masha will receive the extra love and attention she needs right now. And I know that Buckner helped make that possible.

And in case you’re wondering, she was moved to the top of the list of adoptable children and a Russian family is already interested.

16 October 2008

Russia Blog Diary, Entry Five

Scott Collins is blogging about his experiences in Russia as part of the 2008 ‘Shoes for Orphan Souls’ mission trip. This is Scott’s first trip to Russia with Buckner since 1999. He is vice president of External Affairs.

ST. PETERSBURG, RUSSIA – One works for the multi-national company DeLoitte and Touche. Another is training for the 2012 Olympics and the third is looking to launch his career in filmmaking.

All three are orphans and all three readily admit they have Buckner to thank for where they are today.

Yana Karpovich
She is 23 and graduated with honors from her university last summer after she and her younger brother spent five years living with a Buckner foster care family.

Yana is shy, but her shyness belies a determination that is evident when you talk to her. Ask about her dreams and she will tell you in very specific terms what she wanted.

First, she wanted to enter the university and study international management. Once in the university, she wanted to “graduate well.” And having accomplished her first two dreams, her third was to find a job that would allow her opportunities for advancement.

And while Yana knows what she wants, she also knows what she doesn’t want. She doesn’t want to repeat the lives her parents lived. Her mother died when Yana was just 15 and her father was nowhere in sight.

She knows the Buckner foster care program gave her brother and her each a chance; a chance they are both making the most of. Her brother in the university now studying to be a counselor so he help kids who are going through traumas he knows all too well.

And that’s Yana’s next dream – for her brother to graduate well and get a good job.

For children who are where she once was, Yana offers this: “Never give up and never lose faith in people. Don’t be angry and set high goals. And don’t stop.”

Ekaterina Bankerova
She is 19 and has been an orphan since she was 3. Ekaterina spent 13 years in two different orphanages and eventually ended up in a Buckner program at Orphanage No. 9 under the watchful eye of Anatoly Ulyanov.

It was when she was connected with No. 9 that her teachers and caregivers realized that Ekaterina was an athlete.

“I had a dream as a child, but I thought it was impossible for me to accomplish it,” she said.

That dream was to ride a bicycle on a world-class level. When she was 15, she started competing and winning. She was invited to the All-Russia Championship and won the bronze medal for her age group.

Buckner helped get her moved to Orphanage No. 9 and has provided scholarships for her, enabling her to continue her training uninterrupted.

“I could not have made it without Buckner,” she said.

When she is riding her bicycle, Ekaterina said it’s important to “clear your mind and go for the finish and avoid any distractions.”

Her daily regiment of training includes riding between 70 and 120 kilometers a day. And her competitions have taken Ekaterina all over Russia and to Italy, France and Germany.

Her advice: “Life is very long and in spite of your background, if you have a desire and goals you can succeed. You need to believe in yourself.”

Edward Zholnin
To be honest, I’m not sure where to start in describing Edward. He’s 22 and I’ve never had a conversation with anyone that wore me out more than my talk with Edward.

He is the most intense young man I’ve ever met. For one thing, unlike most people who are talking through a translator, Edward looks right at you rather than at the translator.

He is an actor and his long-term goal is to become a filmmaker. But don’t think Hollywood here. Edward may well become Puskin with a film camera. Don’t ask him about his favorite film because you won’t know any of the ones he mentions. His tastes are more of the film festival variety.

Edward’s mother left him at the hospital where he was born. He has three brothers, all from different fathers.

He was placed in a babies home in Puskin just outside St. Petersburg and started performing in kindergarten. “I have always had a great love for the arts,” he said.

When he arrived at Orphanage No. 60, a teacher discovered his talents and helped nurture Edward.

“An actor must act with his heart,” Edward said. But for Edward the orphan, that hard because his heart was broken.

Like the others, Edward made his way to Orphanage No. 9 where the possibilities began to open up for him. Along with his acting, he is also a poet.

Today, Edward lives in the Buckner Transitional Home in St. Petersburg and attends the Academy of Theatrical Arts. He was one of 30 accepted in his class out of 700 applicants.

His goal is make it to the Institute of Cinematography in Moscow and become a director or producer of films. Edward is very clear about the purpose of movies. “They are not just entertainment. They are a testimony – a metaphor that really touches me.”

Reflecting on his life, Edward said his philosophy is that while there may be “a thousand unhappy days, one second of happiness makes up for a thousand bad days.”

He said he’s grateful that living in the transitional home and receiving a Buckner scholarship enable him to concentrate on his studies without working.

I walked away from my evening with these three orphans drained, but gratified knowing what we do does make a difference and I had just seen it.

15 October 2008

Russia Blog Diary, Entry Four

Scott Collins is blogging about his experiences in Russia as part of the 2008 ‘Shoes for Orphan Souls’ mission trip. This is Scott’s first trip to Russia with Buckner since 1999. He is vice president of External Affairs.

ST. PETERSBURG, RUSSIA – Vanya got his new shoes today and no matter how many times I see it happen, it’s always the greatest thing I’ve ever seen.

Vanya was at Orphanage No. 40 here. It’s filled with boys and girls who have a variety of problems, the most noticeable being vision. Most wear glasses that sit crooked on their faces. Some have an eye covered with tape and a patch.

This is one of the first places I remember giving shoes to the children on the first Shoes for Orphan Souls mission trip nine years ago.

I remember Orphanage No. 40 so well because we shot a lot of video of the kids getting shoes that day in 1999. It was video we eventually used to edit our first Shoes for Orphan Souls video.

But I remember No. 40 for an even more vivid reason. It was here that I spent some special time with another Vanya. Vanya had only recently been moved to No. 40. I had met him on a previous trip to St. Petersburg, so seeing him that day was a reunion.

Vanya suffered from vision problems because he was hydrocephalic, meaning he had severe water on the brain. I wrote about him and even posed for a photo – one we actually used in Buckner Today.

As a result of that article, several people contacted Buckner wanting to help Vanya and he eventually received shunts that alleviated the pressure on his brain. Now, Vanya lives with a Russian family that adopted him a few years ago.

Today, as I watched Scott Matthews place shoes on a little boy’s feet, I did so through the viewfinder of a video camera. Part of my work on this trip is shooting video for a 10-year anniversary Shoes for Orphan Souls DVD we’re producing. Next year marks the 10th year Buckner has sponsored the Shoe program.

Watching Scott playfully tickle the boy and hearing them both giggle was beyond description. And then Scott got down on the floor and joyfully removed the boy’s old shoes and replaced them with warm winter boots.

The boy was proud of his new shoes and I couldn’t help but notice that what should have taken a couple of minutes stretched into 15 or 20. It was hard to tell who was having more fun – Scott or the orphan.

When they finally finished, they walked our of the room together, hand in hand. And I was reminded again what I thought the first time I saw this. Putting shoes on the feet of orphans is one of the most Christ-like things I’ve ever seen.

After they’d left, I realized I didn’t know the boy’s name. So I replayed the video I’d shot for one our Buckner follow-up team members and asked the boy’s name.

His name is Vanya. So again today, like nine years ago, Vanya got his new shoes and I’ll never forget it.